New Heartbreak. Same Pit.

This love taught me heartbreak in the realist sense. It’s not that I lost you or even wronged you, It’s that the circumstance we fell upon Gives me that pit in my stomach. The kind of pit that grows relentlessly, The kind of pit that sticks around. And the worst part of all of it, …

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Anxiety

Moments of Giving Up

It is easy to love you When the sun is shining And I have Hillsong in my ears. But when there's hate in their eyes And the tests all come back positive, My flame dims And my heart breaks And the last thing I want to be Is a teacher Or a minister Or the change …

Drama: An Artifact

I have observed you creating drama In order to make things appear interesting But drama does not make things interesting It makes things dramatic I hope you learn that things do not need to be dramatic To be interesting Nor do things need to be interesting at all You have been struggling with difference For …

I Will Never Find Love Again

I will never find love again I will never find love again. The first time I met her was in Tara: A big eyed beauty with butterfly clips in her hair. I met her on the playground and saw youth in her eyes. We fell in love on the blacktop Sewing together words with chalk …

The Man I Never Knew

The first time I was reminded of the man I never knew was in the 4th grade At a soccer game On a Saturday I saw a butterfly. I quit indoor soccer after that Because outdoor sports had more butterflies. Whenever I meet a new dog I feel the man I never knew watching me …

I Think About You

I think about the length of the box that you rest in, And the silk that lines it. You hated silky things. I think about how You would have called this coffin “Pissy shit”. I think about your aunt, The gym teacher, And how I knew you Better than she did. I think about death, …

Falling Leaves

My great-grandmother used to tell me, That if you caught a falling leaf Before it touched the ground, You could wish on it. She used to say that fall leaves Were God’s way of sending down his wishes. When I was a kid I would spend hours in the yard Trying to catch as many …

Things I Am Afraid Of

You know that feeling after you jump, right before you’re about to land back on your feet? That feeling that you’ve been flying for so long, that earth misses you, that gravity is pulling you back to safety? I’m afraid I’ll lose that someday. I’m afraid that if I get comfortable enough with myself, that …

Everyday Is Monday

Maybe if I told you, that I can’t shower with my eyes open, That every day is a struggle, That I’m scared of the high school bathroom. Maybe then you would understand. Maybe if I explained why I can’t go swimming, You would stop asking. Maybe I just need to tell you I’m sick, Or …