Suicide Note

Tell my mother I love her.
Tell my step-father I’m sorry.
Tell my brother I wanted to be there for him.
Tell my brother I miss him already.
Tell my brother I never told him how much I admired him.
Tell my brother I played dumb.
Tell my brother I played dumb.
Tell my brother I am not dumb.
Tell the girl I used to be I never hated her.

Tell my mother I never really liked church,
Tell church I saw the lies.
Tell depression “I almost had you, bitch!”
Tell the girl I still love her,
Tell the boy I never loved him.
Tell those kids on the bus they were right-
And tell them goodbye.

Tell everyone who told me to do it,
Tell everyone who ever called me anything at all,
Tell everyone “I’ll see you in Hell!”
Tell Hell I am ready,
Tell heaven I tried,
Tell them I endured worse every day that I lived.

Tell God I am ready,
OR possibly-
Tell Satan.
But tell them I have to much to tell here,
Tell Zander, I love him.

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9 thoughts on “Suicide Note

  1. This is an incredible poem, so meaningful and heart-wrenching. Please tell me this is just fictional, and your aren’t thinking about suicide. You have so much more worth in this world than that. For one, you are such an incredible poet.

    – Actually Just Me 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks for the feedback! Also, the concern. I have contemplated suicide in the past, but I’m very much out of that dark place. I wrote this about a dark time I was in, suicide isn’t on the table. Again, thanks for the wonderful comment. You are a good person.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Suicide Note | the poetic alien

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